Lube It Lose It Grease!
What is All the Fuss About?

By Dan Blodget

I am sorry.  Sooo, sooo sorry.  I am late with my annual Lube It Or Lose It packaging extravaganza, due by summer of every year for . . .well . . .years now.

I was in the middle of a semi-clad shoot with all sorts of beautiful models (until one of them told me to put my swimsuit on) and I said, “STOP!  My customers are too smart to be fooled by sexy models in swimsuits.  They want facts and good service, not cheesecake.”  So here you go:

Packaging Option #1

Liquid Light – A translucent head to toe container with a forward facing “so deco” black and white logo.  Humorously droll logo appears to be a hand-stamped ready-made sticker and secured in place with scotch tape.  Printing of this degree of realism does not come cheap.

Packaging Option #2

Liquid Light with black quoff – As #1 with a sporty “snap in” quick close top.

Packaging Option #3

Snake-hips – Slender off-white (translucent in Caribbean sunsets).  Labeling similar in color and size to options #1 and #2.  #3 is lavishly dollopped on top.  Letting you know that we know that what’s on top is important to our customers (some, at least; lets see how they sell first).

All packaging options come busting at the seams full of grease, Lube It Or Lose It Grease.  Never before has grease been so lovingly and painstakingly decanted from a big ugly tub to small replicas of actual “film canisters” (before digital, ask your grandpa).  It is labeled with love and good happy feelings and offered to you the customer for the ridiculously low price of five dollars ($5).

Lube It Or Lose It is more than a trademarked, and very well (legally speaking) protected logo.  It is the very mantra of the underwater photographer and videographer.  Use on black nonsilicone o-rings of the Buna or nitril variety such as Aquatica and Nikonos have historically used.  Blue/Red/Orange o-rings need not apply.

Instructions for use:  Clean only with lint-free soft cloth.  Lube clean o-ring slick like a trout, with no lumps.  Keep out of eyes.  Clean o-ring channel with swab or towel.  Not for salacious utilizations. 

Orders to service@subaquatic.com or Nikono5@aol.com.